My Father Passed Away 5 Years Ago This Week

He passed just a few weeks before his 94th birthday. I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately.

He influenced both my writing and filmmaking, whether he realized it or not. He was always very supportive of me even if he didn’t understand what it was I was doing.

Dad was a World War Two Navy Veteran. He was on a Higgins boat in the Pacific. He was involved in the re-taking of the Philippines. He was at Okinawa, Leyte, and others. For those that don’t know, a Higgins boat was a small landing craft that would drop soldiers on to the beaches. If you saw the opening to Saving Private Ryan, they were on a Higgins boat.

I always imagined that his boat would drop soldiers off on the beach, go back to the ship and bring in more troops, supplies, vehicles, and whatever else was needed. They also evacuated the wounded. My father never talked about what he saw but I imagine it was pretty horrific.

There is a wonderful novel and film called, Away All Boats. It was written by one of the officers on his ship and is based on real life experiences during the war. It’s a good film and a terrific book.

Upon his return he spent a couple years blowing off steam, if you will. Lots of drinking and I’m sure there was a lot of fighting as he ran with a pretty tough crowd after the war.

Thanks to the G.I. Bill, eventually he graduated college with a business degree to pursue the American Dream. He worked in the car business most of his life as a salesman. He wanted to make things better for his children than what he had growing up. He wanted us all to go to college (which we did) and get good steady jobs so we’d have financial security. Security was very important to both my parents as they grew up during the depression.

Imagine their surprise when they raised a son who didn’t give a shit about security and was ready to risk everything he owned on a film he wanted to make. And I did.

I know having to sell my home to pay off the IRS among other creditors was very hard on him. He helped me come up with the down payment 20 years earlier, spent afternoons helping me in the yard, or fixing things in the house.

He worried, I had no health insurance and no retirement.

He was always there with advice when I asked. When I fucked up, whether I got caught or not, he never judged.

His usual comment to me when I was young and wild was, “Well I figure you’ve probably done worse and not been caught so this is a good lesson. I’m behind you 100% but you will pay your own attorney fees.”

Over the years I found out that when he was young and (very) wild, his Father usually had his back but wouldn’t pay bail or attorneys fees for him.

It never bothered me working, going from gig to gig, which is something I got from him. He would work someplace for a few years, get angry about something and quit. He would take a week off and always get another job quickly. He was known and respected in the car business.

He couldn’t figure out why films and writing were so important to me. Just because he didn’t understand it, didn’t mean he was against it.

He was one of my biggest fans and supporters coming to all of my local screenings. He appeared in some of my films as well as a PSA I shot once for the Parks Department. He was very proud when people would recognize him at the grocery store from that PSA.

After a rough-cut screening of my first feature Birddog (which is about a car salesman among other things) he came up to me with tears in his eyes and asked, "Did you write this? I mean all of it?" When I said yes, he looked at me for a moment then said, "Is there a bathroom around here?"

The fact that he was in his 70's and had beat both prostate and colon cancer at that point and had sat through a 100 minute film without a bathroom break said a lot.

The first time I went out on the road with my films for two months to show them all over the country he insisted I take his truck, which was much more reliable than the car I owned. He also called me every few days to ask how things were going. His first question was always, “What time is it where you are?” Like I was in some foreign land and not just two time zones away.

When I published my books he always got a copy and read every word, usually more than once. Being the salesman he was, he was always trying to get his friends to buy my books.

I have written about his car lot multiple times (including in an upcoming book) and taken stories from both his youth as well as my own and incorporated them in to my work. He always wanted to know what I was working on and when it was going to be finished so he could see it.

In my next book, coming out in the fall, I have a story written by him (in the late 1940’s) about boxing. He always wanted to be a writer and now I will have the honor of publishing him.

He was a complex human. He could be generous and cranky. He had a tough time telling us he loved us but we could tell in the way he acted.

He’s been gone for five years now and I find I have more questions that I wish I had asked him. I know a lot about his life but there are also a lot of holes in my knowledge. Sometimes I come across a problem and I wish I could call and discuss it with him.

I ended up with all of the family photo albums, including photos of my grandparents, and other family members and I have no clue who a lot of these people are. I would love to ask him about them. Please take the time to talk to your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., and ask them questions. Interview them about their lives. Once they’re gone you’ll still have tons of questions but no one to answer them.

The last few years of his life were rough. Cancer, strokes, dementia, and Alzheimer’s. I became the parent which was not a role I was expecting. I was giving him advice and towards the end making the hard decisions. He would fall a sleep sometimes during his doctor appointments.

I still have a lot of the life lessons he imparted to me, and those are what will keep his memory alive.

RIP Dad. I love you and continue to miss you.

Thanks for reading. Have a great week.

Please Support Independent Artists! Even crazy ones like me.

If you want to check out any of my books, films, or Angry Filmmaker merchandise head on over to my website. www.angryfilmmaker.com

Follow me on Substack - https://substack.com/@kelleybakerangryfilmmaker

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/angryfilmmaker/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/kelley.baker